There is a moment that happens in coaching when everything seems to stand still. A moment in the process when the light in a client’s eyes changes. An awakening, a realisation, a deep knowing. I often feel it with a chill running through my body. I call it the chill of truth. It’s not my truth, but theirs. The truth they needed to find, even though they didn’t know they needed to. There nonetheless.
These moments are often, but not always, preceded by a question. When I coach I never have preprepared questions, instead, I find the questions intuitively emerge inside of me as I listen deeply not just with my ears but my whole body and heart as well. Some questions catch me quite by surprise!
Recently I have been listening more to those questions so I can share them with you.
Here are some I heard:
- What do you already know, that you wish you didn’t?
- If you knew, how long has it been this way?
- What is happening in your body right now?
- What don’t you want me to know?
- What do you want?
- Tell me…
- How are you feeling in this moment?
- What else is happening?
- What more do you know?
- In light of this, what happens now?
- Anything else?
- If that… then?…
- It’s this way because?…
- What’s missing for you right now?
- Why not?
I don’t recommend you try and learn these questions, instead, practice letting yourself be guided in the moment. Usually, it is the simplest questions, coming from a genuine place of interest that makes the most powerful impact.