How to manage anxiety by doing what’s counter intuitive

As I write this post I realise I need to manage my own anxiety!

I’m all for personal growth.  For more than ten years I have been on a voyage of discovery.  Travelling deep inside, understanding myself, so that I can be at my best in my life and my work.

Mostly I get to manage the speed and pace of this development journey.  Choosing a course here, therapy there, following my flow.

Running a business changed that.  It was like putting a car into drive and pressing full throttle.  Around every corner something new to learn.  Another thing to overcome.  Stretching, expanding often at break neck speed.  It’s been an exhilarating ride!

Yet fear and exhilaration are close cousins.  Sometimes only a breath away from one another. Click to Tweet

My latest project is creating videos for you.  I’m shit scared about this.

Feeling vulnerable, exposed, out of my depth.

The irony of creating a video on anxiety from a state of anxiety is not lost on me!  I have been using the tools I suggest so that I can publish this.

So here it is…  The first in a series of videos for you (press play in the bottom left corner):

I hope over time you will watch me continue to grow and develop on this part of my journey.

Thanks for joining the ride.  Your feedback is really important to me.  Please share your thoughts below.

If there are any topics you would like me to film for you leave a note in the comments box below.

With love,

Danielle

 

 

 

Video Credits

Director ~ Thaoski

Producer ~ Holy Cow

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29 Responses to “How to manage anxiety by doing what’s counter intuitive”

  1. Sarah lingard

    How lovely to see you in this video Danielle! This is a great idea to help people with anxiety. Me & my daughters all suffer from anxiety so useful to all of us. We have very distinct symptoms of anxiety & taking notice if them & breathing is really good for us. I do a small breath in & visualise blue fresh air then a linger breath out which I see as red stressful air that I’m getting rid of, out of my body. It works well for me. I look forward to seeing you again. X

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Sarah, what a beautiful visualisation, thank you for sharing, I can see how this would make a difference to you and your daughters. It sounds like you and your daughters are on an important journey of discovery together. Sending much love x

      Reply
  2. Rebecca Chicot

    A very timely video for me Danielle and the breathing helped immediately.
    I was once in the surreal position of giving a paper at the International Conference of Shyness, Social Phobia and Anxiety and the talk before mine was by a Japanese psychologist. It was about how to overcome nerves to do public speaking (timely again) and I will always remember him saying that you should not expect or seek to remove the physical sensations of anxiety. Rather if you acknowledge them and really focus on the sensation e.g., butterflies. Then explain to yourself that this is a physical feeling nothing more, don’t expect that you can remove it. Once you’ve acknowledged it the feedback loop doesn’t escalate your feelings of anxiety because you are not fighting to remove the sensation, merely noticing it.
    Before I went up to the podium my heart was racing and I had butterflies but I just said to myself ‘you will feel this physical sensation, don’t worry about it….and sure enough the physical sensations began to recede and the feedback loop weakened as my calmness, fedback and reduced the sensations I felt less anxious and so on. By the time I opened my mouth to speak my body had stopped screaming signals of anxiety at me and I felt in control. In conclusion, remember that you can help to stop the positive feedback loop of physical feelings of anxiety…escalating mental anxiety…escalating physical feelings of anxiety by simply acknowledging and expecting some physical signals of anxiety in a stressful situation.

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Rebecca, how are you? So great to hear from you and thank you for taking the time to share. I can’t wait to chat to you about how you found yourself in that situation 🙂 It sounds like this is a very helpful tool to manage anxiety. Simply acknowledging the feeling. I think combining that with breathing would be very powerful. It’s often the simple things that help us the most isn’t it?! Sending warm wishes xx

      Reply
  3. Gary Burdis

    Hi Danielle,
    Thank you for that simple, useful advice for a seemingly complex and all too prevalent state we all find ourselves in at some point. It is so easy to forget to breath!
    If I could add (as I have found this valuable in my work and personally) that if we can remember that anxiety as an emotional response which does have a valuable message for us. Mainly that the issue may not be upon us right now; which does give us time to prepare for the future event. (phew!) It helps to highlight an issue in our lives that will need attention; for our safety/peace or development and that once we have dealt with the issue, the anxiety will subside.
    Love the new web site!
    Regards Gary

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Gary, I love your builds, thanks for sharing. Anxiety as a warning system to look after us is a useful frame and I’m sure other people reading this will find your comments helpful. Keep sharing your wisdom and thanks for your feedback xx

      Reply
  4. Coralie

    Just lovely – thank you Danielle. Watching the beach scene on its own is almost enough to get rid of anxiety!

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Thank you Coralie, it’s a stunning spot isn’t it? A little slice of heaven 🙂 x

      Reply
  5. Vineet

    A beautiful video with a beautiful message that gives people hope. Ultimately, anxiety like any other emotion is the bodies way of letting you know that you are out of balance. Therefore, anxiety in it self is not a bad thing. If accepted, it acts as a path way back to your natural state of oneness.

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Vineet, I hope you are well. Our bodies are clever aren’t they?! Such an incredible system they have developed to communicate to us x

      Reply
  6. Jo

    Great video Danielle. No need to be “shit scared!”…You’re a natural!

    Reply
  7. Paulina

    Beautiful and helpful video in a stunning setting (wow! where is it?). Thank you for this and keep going, you are a pro.

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      That means a huge amount to me Pow, thank you! The video was filmed in North Cornwall near Tintagel. It’s a beautiful location not far from where I run The Pause. We have lots more gorgeous locations coming up over the coming weeks x

      Reply
  8. Paul McAweney

    Easy to watch and understand Danielle and your natural ways are a great fit to the message. I can certainly notice when things are not as I want them to be for me and it certainly hurts a lot, naming the problem I find harder.
    Thanks for the vido, I think it may help, x

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Paul, always lovely to hear from you my friend. Yes as we both know noticing is one skill and naming another. Both really compliment each other. Wishing you every happiness x

      Reply
  9. Sharon Agates

    Very beautiful Danielle!

    Reply
  10. Vittoria

    Thank you Danielle for sharing publicly your knowledge: you are a very generous person and very talented too!
    The video is effective, right length and very enjoyable to watch with such an amazing landscape. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Dear Vittoria, thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts, I really appreciate it. The landscape was inspiring, it’s an amazing world we live in! Where are you based? x

      Reply
  11. Kathy

    I have suffer from anxiety all my life, I enjoyed your tips and I enjoyed the music you used and the beautiful scenery. You are so natural, this video was a real treat. Thank you for caring it means a lot. Breathing exercises and yoga and Essential Oil lavender baths or even a five minute shower seems to help me cope along with holding and petting my dear beautiful cat and keeping just one fresh cut flower around me and praying bring relief.

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Kathy, thank you for watching, I’m so glad you enjoyed it and really appreciate your kind words. It sounds like this is a subject close to your heart and your tips will certainly help others reading this thread. In a strange way your anxiety seems to have brought you serenity. Warm wishes, Danielle x

      Reply
  12. Cynthia

    Danielle, thank you for sharing. Beautiful scenery. Useful tips. I believe that everyone has feelings of anxiety, just different degree. For me, befriending anxiety, praying and trusting in our heavenly father also helps.

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Cynthia, yes I think that’s true we all experience anxiety to different degrees at different times. I love your tip about befriending anxiety. The more we try and push it away the bigger it seems to become! xx

      Reply
  13. Kim

    Thank you Danielle – beautiful, simple, powerful and direct. You ARE a Natural! Sensation and breathing have always been my tools in being with and managing anxiety in my life – acknowledging the moment in the context of the situation and my intention. Sensation brings me in to a more conscious relationship with myself, in the here and now and breathing grounds it and liberates it.

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Thank you Kim, I really appreciate your support and encouragement. I agree, coming back to the body, feeling the feeling and breathing liberates anxiety. It sounds so simple and often is but of course as with all of our work it’s an ongoing practice! xx

      Reply
  14. Colin Curbishley

    I just want to echo what others have said about you being a natural at providing a clear and calming message that could benefit anyone who tries the technique or from just watching the video.
    I’d like to add some tools I’ve pick up along my journey into the realm of anxiety and fear ( False Expectations Appearing Real ) . These have been personalized as I believe all ‘good methods can be’
    The one I use most as I’m about to step out in front of an audience to do an improvisation in dance or fooling comes from EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique ) as Danielle says you acknowledge the feelings, thought and any judgements that go with them and say to yourself “Even though I have all this fear / anxiety etc I completely and unconditionally love and accept myself”
    This in it’s self brings relief and allows space to see things differently then you could use the rest of the method from EFT or Faster EFT if you choice.
    My other top tip is to go to http://www.getsomeheadspace.com for a free ten day trail of a meditation app you can carry around with you and the site has other apps for anxiety and stress.
    Thanks Danielle for providing an opportunity to share the wisdom that we all pick up along the way, it’s special !
    Looking forward to the next one

    Reply
    • Danielle Marchant

      Hi Colin,

      Yes more to come over the next few weeks – I’m looking forward to sharing them with you! Thanks for all of your great tips – I particularly like the Headspace app!

      Keep in touch xx

      Reply
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