When is a fight not a fight?

Letting goI’m working with a client who won’t give up the fight.

It’s a just cause – and it’s costing her.

We all hold principles and values that matter to us.

They make us who we are.

They run deep in us like our DNA.

When they get crossed we feel it.

I remember the great injustices in my life.

Being punished for wrongs I didn’t do.

The rage and defiance that rises through me.

Coursing through my body like a volcano about to spew.

Only to find I suppress the emotion before its full power is unleashed.

Politeness covers rage.
Anger turns to resentment.

Both ways in which I harm myself.

In one particular dispute that wound on and on, seemingly never ending, I turned despairingly to my astrologer and asked: “do I take this to court?”

“You can”, he said, “but only if you know it won’t impact your health.”

That stopped me.

Was the price of being right more than the cost to my health?

For me I don’t think the answer to that can ever be yes.

Yet giving up feels empty.


Not an option.

I had to learn that these are two ends of the spectrum.

Fight or give in.

Polar opposites.

There was, I found, a middle way.

Accepting what is.

It sounds so bloody easy doesn’t it?!

If it were, we would all be graciously accepting what is.

We’re so invested in those principles.

They matter so much.

Isn’t accepting what is, the same as giving up?

I learned they are different.

Giving up is a passive energy.

Accepting what is, is an active energy.

It’s a choice.

You feel it drop in the pit of your stomach as you surrender the fight.

Letting go.

An active choice.

Knowing deep down it was never win or loose anyway.


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