The aspirational pain of change

Are you experiencing change right now?

Change is a constant in life, after all it is nature’s way – the ebb and flow of the tide never stops.  Sometimes change is planned and sometimes it arrives as an unexpected guest; sometimes it is desirable you crave it and other times it is unwelcomed.  Change is ever present, and like the rolling ocean, governed by forces greater than us, which means the size of the wave your riding is bigger some days.

There is a point in the change process which is particularly painful.  It can be a fleeting moment, or it can last for months, sometimes even years. It is the point at which you catch a glimpse of the aspirational change you desire already in action.

It comes to us in different guises.

You can experience it as a brief moment when you feel inside of you a new way of being, which then slides quietly away before you can fully grasp it. Perhaps it shows up in a conversation where you realise your friend has already made it to the place you want to be, and you have not even begun to climb that mountain yet. Or you see a leader artfully respond to a challenge in a meeting, knowing you don’t yet have the skill to stay open in the face of such a tough conversation. You might pass two lovers as they tenderly kiss at the station, their touch lingering not wanting to say goodbye, and you wish for that depth of love in your life too. Or you see a child laugh freely in the play park and are reminded that you are seeking more wildness, more freedom, more fun in life too.

It’s a painful point in the process of change, but it’s also a crucial point.

These moments are important because they indicate that you can see, feel or sense where you are going.  Of course there can be frustration that you have not yet reached that place, but what it shows you is that you can see your heart’s desire in another’s experience. This means you are seeing outwardly what you are yearning for inwardly.  If you weren’t seeing or feeling these things, you wouldn’t be desiring them, and then you would be even further away from them being integrated into you life.

I understand it can feel painful to have an aspiration and not be there yet.  A yearning for a relationship, a determination for a promotion, a deep longing for a child, a heartfelt hope for another’s suffering to end.

I believe in my heart that if where you want to be is a natural place for you, then you will eventually find yourself there.

Until then, whatever happens, know you’re doing great.

With love,

Life By Danielle_Signature_Screen


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